tolerance

Wikipedia says,

The principle of toleration is controversial. Liberal critics may see in it an inappropriate implication that the “tolerated” custom or behavior is an aberration or that authorities have a right to punish difference; such critics may instead emphasize notions such as civility or pluralism. Other critics, some sympathetic to traditional fundamentalism condemn toleration as a form of moral relativism. On the other hand, defenders of toleration may define it as involving positive regard for difference or, alternately, may regard a narrow definition of the term as more specific and useful than its proposed alternatives, since it does not require false expression of enthusiasm for groups or practices that are genuinely disapproved of.

Navigating through everyone’s ideas of reality and god without getting upset or upsetting them is hard. What do you do? Does it matter? Are you supposed to discuss that stuff if you know already that you will not, so to speak, improve your understanding or their understanding by getting into a “discussion”?

I have this idea about religion. It goes like this: believe whatever it is that makes you feel awesome but never talk about it and everyone will be happy. (The topic should be about as taboo as masturbating for 13 year old girls. In fact, I vote that every time you think about saying something nonsecular, instead, try to make the world more forgiving to pubescent females.)

My opinion about religion sort of follows the same train of thought as my friend’s idea of physical activity, or “exercising”: it’s not a topic for discussion. Do whatever it is that you do privately. Don’t talk about it to people. It’s inappropriate. It’s super boring. It’s your own personal biznis.  More or less everyone has their own concept of how it should be done.

But for some reason exercising alone is not that satisfying and needs to be augmented by some sort of positive feedback or reassurance that you are doing the right thing. With exercise, the motivation to announce your routine, or adherence to the collective concept of “healthy active living”, is propelled by an urge to demonstrate to your peers that you know about, and follow through on, what is right and good (and hot). “I’ve been exercising.”, actually means, “Please congratulate me because I just found out that the only real reason I do it is for praise.” If exercise is so great and has changed your life in such a positive way, just be glad you found out before you got type 2 diabetes. It’s not that satisfying, I know, but constantly telling you how much of a difference it’s made in you is super tedious and I want to die every time you talk about it. Please let’s all acknowledge that exercising is really boring actually, but if we think it’s a good idea for us to do, we can do it and just accept that not everything is packed with revelations at all times.

Same with god. Volunteering information that pertains to religion, unsolicited, is annoying no matter what the awesome tenets are or how good it is for a sense of community. Everyone should shut the fuck up and smile at their neighbours, look at the immensely beautiful sky or buy a croissant with chocolate on it.

sex (in a pan) and the city

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

–Carrie Bradshaw

It was then that I realized… OR simply: i realized… OR: at that moment i realized…

Carrie Bradshaw is a one-dimensional character.

you either know it or you are deluding yourself. carrie bradshaw stands for lame fast firing one liners and faux witticism.wittiness.wit. she is situated as the female character you are MOST LIKELY TO IDENTIFY WITH because of the following things:

1. She is kinda funny (omg you are also “kinda funny”. shut the front door)

2. She is a hopeless romantic (but like she is confused sometimes and one guy is like awesome in this way, and one guy is awesome in this other way, and sometimes she makes mistakes but, like you, she means really well all the time but her feelings are just so powerful and she’s like such an idealist or whatever that people might get hurt and that is soo regretful. also she finds herself in the tragically uncommon position of being super in love with some guy who’s just not ready for that. dot dot dot)

3. She is independent.strong.but.vulnerable.on.the.inside

4. She loooooves fashion. you loove fashion too.

5. She is loyal and empathetic and understands her friends and their drawbacks but loves them anyway.

All of those things plus this (is a good one):

6. She is the main character. YOU are the main character. All of the other character options are somewhat less than one-dimensional if that’s possible and if anyone tells you that you are like Charlotte you will just totally know that they could never understand you and how complicated you are. Maybe just your persona around that person is a Charlotte because you are such a Carrie that you understand the way that person works and they are actually a Charlotte so you edit yourself and present as a Charlotte to make everything more comfortable for them because you know that they just like couldn’t handle you otherwise. YOU understand that and because you are so understanding YOU are able to live with the notion that ONLY YOU know that YOU ARE (a, one of them, not the only,) CARRIE.

those are pretty good reasons to identify with Carrie, if you need to watch that show because it gives you something you don’t get anywhere else. but still, did you notice that when she talks she really emphasizes certain words and narrates very slowly and deliberately to seem like she’s really working through her thoughts but if you actually listen to what she’s saying it’s like the popular girl from grade 6 is playing Barbie with you? and you should bloody well listen if you want her to like you and possibly invite you to her awesome birthdaypoolparty with Richard Desjardporche and Jeff Lambergini (the popular boys). Do not screw it up because your life depends on them liking you in a non-pitying capacity.

Four really adult women characters who are “strong” and “independent” spending all of there free time (and they have a lot) idly whining about their boyfriends or non-boyfriends or why they don’t HAVE a boyfriend or that guy over there and how they should or shouldn’t bed him is a very depressing thing. All of the men in the show are very occupied with their lives and careers and themselves, which is awesome for them, really awesome. and the women characters have all that stuff set up because they are smart, strong and career-minded (that’s why they have this really big problem on their hands, right. like if they weren’t so self absorbed they would be married by now obviously. like the family order is about sacrifice etc). and you apparently have to be really STRONG to be thirtylate and not be married. but the main character’s JOB is to whine and complain about men and obsess about the particular problem of modern love, and that sets up a very messy back-and-forth vortex of traditional/contemporary roles but magically solves both problems at the same time.

even the name is irritating. SEX and the city. whatever dude. like saying sex in the title somehow makes it more women-powerful like they’re all taking it back and stuff, strutting with confidence during the opening credits. that’s like when your mom makes a dessert that has sex in the title and she says it like it’s the baddest assed thing ever. SEX in a pan tee hee. whatever mom. i thought we were supposed to be over that sort of thing by now.

and then i realized/it hit me/at that moment i knew: We are supposed to be over that sort of thing by now. everyone says feminist like a memory of last winter–soo glad it’s over, don’t tell me it will happen again, geezus. it’s not over and everyone is confused about what they’re supposed to do. i have no idea. the boys are even more upset as far as i can tell.

“As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can’t help but whine, ‘Are we there yet?’”

–Carrie Bradshaw

Up next: I am beginning to feel like the grown-up version of a teen goth.

p.s.  no i did not see the movie.  leave me alone.

What my trip was like in terms of local weather and rituals

mostly it was sunny and hot. in the morning it was about 21 degrees. around 1 pm it got to be about 30 degrees and then it would usually climb up to 36 degrees until about 6 pm when it would start to cool down again. in the shade it was cooler. it was dry every day except for two when it tried to rain. it is true that the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains, and not as some people would think, in Madrid.

the interesting thing about the dryness was that it would clumpify the mucus in your nose. every day everyone had dry boogers in their nose and it was really satisfying to get it out as a private ritual in the bathroom.

Spain is sort of good for rituals, mainly because everyone used to be really Catholic. and they stick with things unless it’s apparent that it’s really not working and then they throw the whole thing out and start again. i like how the Spanish oscillate between Socialism and Conservatism. right now the majority of their Ministers are female. that’s neat.

in Spain, you get up around 9, have a coffee and a pastry, go to do whatever you do until about 1 or 2, get some lunch, have a drink at a bar that’s been open since 1827, (you can change the order of the drinks and lunch if you want), have a lay down or just quiet time, get up around 5, go out to the Plaza and have a drink and eat some tapas and watch people, go do whatever you do until 9, eat some dinner, go out for a drink at a bar that celebrates bullfighters and opened in 1846, go for a walk or do whatever you do until about 1, then go to bed. it’s very civilized and everyone walks upright and doesn’t seem to be bracing themselves against the cold no matter what the current temperature is.

the Spanish don’t have fear in their eyes.

Spanish hours of operation enforce the above schedule. the stores open at 10 and close at 2, the bars open at 2, the stores open again at 5 and close at 9, the restaurants open at 8:30 and close at 12.

AAND if you don’t want to go to a bar after working all morning, you can go to the grocery store and buy a bottle of wine for 1.5 Euro or a beer for 0.6 Euro. a loaf of bread is 0.5 Euro and a big carton of gazpacho is 3.5 Euro. the only drawback to this diet is stomach pain. but if you do go to the bar and order a drink they will just give you food. really good free food. not a lot. but enough to tide you over until 5 or so when it’s tapas time.

some of the food they are likely to give you for free are:

1. Tortilla. not as you know it. tortilla is a thick omelet cooked perfectly with slices of potatoes in it. usually this comes on a piece of thick white bread.

2. Olives (Aceitunas). like a big plate of them. and sometimes they’ve been sharing a jar with those pickled onions that you like but feel a little weird about, and that makes them taste better.

3. Chorizo. spanish sausage of awesome. usually sliced lengthwise on a piece of thick white bread. everything comes on white bread (pan) actually. except olives.

4. Anchovies (Anchoas). with tomatoes on bread.

5. Cured ham (Jamon de Serrano). on bread.